Thursday, 15 February 2018

My Instagram Husband

Behind every great Instagram addict there is, without a doubt, a reluctant Instagram Husband. Whether it's your best friend, long suffering girlfriend or your tech phobe Mum, it's pretty impossible to survive on Instagram without your assistant to help you out.

My Instagram Husband is my real life husband and if ever there were grounds for divorce I'm pretty sure putting up with being my photography assistant is probably one of them. Behind every one of my perfectly arranged Instagram photos there is a story of frustration, arguments and tears. My poor Instagram Husband has been through it all, so today, to celebrate Valentines Week I thought I'd share some funny stories behind some of my most popular photographs.

I think you'll all agree that my Instagram Husband is an unsung hero!

My Instagram HusbandThe Photograph 

A lazy Saturday morning at the garden centre enjoying a little potter about followed by a delicious scone with jam and cream.


The Reality

Having purchased my scone I ran with my tray across the tea room to get back to the table to allow plenty of time to arrange everything to make "the perfect Instagram shot". Unfortunately perfection is not usually created that fast so poor Instagram Husband (and Instagram Mother in Law!) had to wait patiently holding their heavy trays while I took photos of my scone. I didn't want them ruining my background by taking a seat!

The Photograph 

Feeling excited for Summer after discovering the amazing new holiday pieces in Primark.  


The Reality

Deciding the display in Primark wasn't quite right for my photograph I decided to rearrange the store a little. That lovely bag? Yep it was originally on a different display. I have never seen my Instagram Husband move so fast. He was mortified and immediately left me to it!

The Photograph 

Not in the mood for cooking so popped out for a quick and easy Maccy Ds - the hassle free tea of champions!


The Reality 

I'm sure I don't have to explain to you how embarrassing it is trying to enjoy your Big Mac while your wife is creating the perfect McDonalds flat lay on the table. Normal people don't really Instagram their fast food but unfortunately I'm not normal! Probably one of the most embarrassing photographs I have ever created for Instagram, my poor Instagram Husband wanted to hide under the table.

The Photograph 

Beautiful day out on the North East coast enjoying some well deserved ice cream from one of our favourite little shops.


The Reality 

Left my Instagram Husband in the queue for his ice cream as I needed to run super speed to somewhere photogenic to snap my cone before it started to melt down my head. Cue a very literal melt down when the photo went wrong because the lighting was too harsh. In my my mad dash to the sand my flake fell out.

The Photograph 

Sunday strolls in sunny Whitley Bay - sharing our nice chilled out afternoon on the North East coast.


The Reality  

Desperate to show off my amazing new Primark jacket I marched up and down this path at least 20 times making my Instagram Husband take endless photographs for me. Wanting to get the perfect shot of the flamingo and St Mary's Lighthouse it took us a lot of shots to get this one and I'm very surprised my Instagram Husband didn't chuck my phone in the sea!

The Photograph 

Loving my new River Island bag, the perfect Valentino dupe for Summer.


The Reality 

Instagram Husband trying to drive the car while I'm taking endless photographs of my lap attempting to capture the perfect picture as we're driving round roundabouts and battling motorways. He really needed me to help with directions but I was too busy loving the amazing natural lighting to hear him.

The Photograph

After a meeting to plan my wedding I can't wait to share my beautiful feather filled balloon.




The Reality 

Got so annoyed at my Instagram Husband when he couldn't read my mind and understand exactly what shot I wanted. Half of my body, no face and balloon in shot - how hard can it be? Impossible to explain, I almost made him stand and hold the damn thing just to get the photograph that I wanted.

Photograph 

Being the smug couple wandering through the beautiful pink blossoms with our wedding photographer celebrating our engagement.


The Reality 

Made wedding photographer and Instagram Husband wait whilst I took photos of my own feet in the pretty blossom because I couldn't waste the opportunity for an Instagram shot. Perhaps took a little longer than I should and forgot for a moment that getting married and practicing our photographs was a little more important than my Instagram.

So next time you're liking one of my Instagram photos, spare a little thought for my poor Instagram Husband.

I hope this post gave you a bit of a chuckle, if you're an Instagram Diva like me make sure you let me know some of the demands you've made of your Instagram Husband!
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20 comments

  1. Love this. I wouldn’t get away with half of these, Thom needs to step up x

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    1. Shall I get Simon to have a word with him?

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  2. Haha, this really made me chuckle Chloe! I love that it shows the realism behind the shots. At least the blogger plus one perks make up for it eh?!

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    1. I hope so, but I'm not sure he's convinced!

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  3. Now you need to write about your Instagram friends and how you make us turn the lights up in restaurants, move tables, clear our clutter.....hahaha

    I can't believe the boot story from Whitley Bay didn't make the cut!

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    1. I am sitting here waiting for Sarah to appear and tell everyone about the time I asked for the restaurant lights to be turned up!

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  4. I love this post! So funny and sweet- I love seeing how people take their pictures!

    Shannon

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    1. Thank you, I am really hoping I'm not the only to behave a little strangely!

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  5. I can totally relate to this! Poor Dave now patiently waits before he eats anything just in case I want to picture it, even when I don't!

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    1. The first time I asked Simon to get out of my shot in a restaurant he was so embarrassed, now he just knows to get up and go off for a wander!

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  6. Absolutely loved reading this! I will indeed spare a thought for your insta husband next time I like one of your photos...my stories mostly involve me telling Rob he needs to get low to get the most flattering angle and making him take about 500 to get one shot. Not particularly funny, but we do get heckled sometimes! xxx

    Sophie | Sophar So Good

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    1. Thank you! I'm yet to ask Simon to crawl around on the floor, I think that would probably be the final straw but I may be brave and try it some time!

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  7. Replies
    1. It's great isn't it? I didn't even realise our wedding photographer was taking it!

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  8. This is such a funny post! The struggle is real for both parties I think; the Instagramm-er getting the shot and the partner for having to take the pics or wait to eat etc haha

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    1. This is true, the whole thing is pretty stressful!

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  9. This post is the best! Had me laughing out loud. Poor Simon (but you're totally right!!) Katie x

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  10. Love this! I rarely ask Matt to take my photos - my Instagram husband is my friend Beth! I keep on saying she needs to come on holiday with me to take my photographs ��

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    1. I do think that friends make the best instagram husbands, I really need to use mine more when I meet up with them, especially considering that most of them are actually bloggers too!

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